A new survey from the much quoted National Golf Foundation claims, that “One out seven dwarfs is not happy!” Meanwhile the USGA, not content on taking the fun out of the game for anyone with the yips, by banning long putters, is also considering banning PRO V1s! This as a cost saving move so they don’t have to keep knocking down houses to build “Tiger tees”, in a desperate attempt to keep holding the US Open at places they are all members at, that are totally unfit for the purpose, like Merion.
The PGA, in an effort to put the whole Ted Bishop “Girly gate” debacle behind them and give the US Ryder cup team a fighting chance next time, has announced that half of the team will now be drawn be from the ranks of Solhiem cup squad. Arnold Palmer will be co-captain with Nancy Lopez. A spokesperson for the PGA said it was an easy decision since those two where the only two players everyone liked!
In related news, the 2036 Ryder Cup has been awarded to the yet to be built, planned or approved Trump The Great course, in Nome, Alaska. The PGA said it was excited to be bringing golf to new markets to help grow the game!
They also thanked Mr. Trump for his 50 million dollar donation to the LPGA’S, Ellen D Foundation, dedicated to growing the game among women batting for the other team and other trendy special interest groups of little economic impact to anyone who actually owns a golf course.
The R and A in a bold bid to gain some political correctness points of their own, after giving two fingers to the world for four centuries, has approached Bruce Jenner to be their next captain. Said Sir Michael Tossworth, “We are not ready for a female captain but we though that appointing Bruce would be a great interim step.” Still no word on which locker room he’ll, she’ll use.
In an effort to grow the game and expand coverage the R and A, has sold the rights to the OPEN Championship to pay per view channel Sky Sports. A spokesman for the R and A said, “It’s a totally waste of time trying to grow the game among people who can’t afford it. By putting the Open on an expensive cable channel we insure that the “right type of people” are watching. People with disposable income not the typical low end riff raff we where getting from the BBC for the last 40 years!”
Meanwhile back in Florida; with Tiger Woods‘ winnings shrinking faster than John Daly’s credit line at the Bellagio, Wood’s announced today he’s changing his schedule to increase his income. He will be focusing his attention on the Medalists’ Friday skins game, with old buddy Michael Jordan. Claims Tiger is getting three a side from the former basketball star where quickly re-buffed by his PR team. “He’s only getting two”
Andrew Wood is CEO of Legendary Marketing, a Tampa/Orland-based ad agency. He is the world’s leading expert on golf, resort, destination and real estate marketing although his successes go far beyond these core industries. Author of over 20 books including; The Golf Marketing Bible, Cunningly Clever Marketing, Cunningly Clever Entrepreneur and Making Your Business The One They Choose! Andrew has spoken to thousands of audiences worldwide and was the top ranked speaker at 97.7% of the events where he spoke on sales, marketing, entrepreneurship or leadership. A pioneer in Internet marketing his creative talent, out of the box ideas and copywriting skills are at the core of his expertise. Regarded as one of the top marketing minds in the world for his ability to craft a winning strategy, generate leads and increase income!Contact: Andrew Wood, Direct @ 1 352-266 2099
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